Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
