Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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