Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
