I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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