Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so that wasnt chicken after all
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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