Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
