I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
