I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
