I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
