She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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