My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
