Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
