420 ftw
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
