I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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