i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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