Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
