Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
