did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
