You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
