Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
