He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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