I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
