I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
