I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ambien. No doubt about it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
