I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
