Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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