And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
