Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
