Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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