his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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