nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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