You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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