Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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