I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Who died my cat blue again?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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