i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
