i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
