There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
