its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
