allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
