You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
