So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
dude. I can hear the air.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
