In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
