sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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