Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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