Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
