I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
