i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
