I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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