Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Let's get the cat blown out
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
