i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
