oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
