wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
